I recently received a letter from an associate, addressed to T.S. Eliot from Dr. Seuss. Little did she know how right she is, for I am quite the poet. Observe.
[untitled #1]
The main sign of your masculinity must be bigger
Big dick can feel multiple orgazms
Huge rod is what all girls dream about
Huge male machine is the fact that all chick like
Don’t you think it’s time you stopped being a loser with a tiny penis
[untitled #2]
Try this and you’re welcome in the world of sexual giants
New world of sensual delights is open to you
Take just a candy and become ready for 36 hours of love osmosis
[untitled #3]
With bigger penis you’ll experience more sweet moments
Women acknowledge that big phalli are more attractive
You’ll spend much more pleasurable time with your girlfriend
Satisfy her!
[untitled #4]
Wanna pass an unforgettable night?
Hear her scream your name in passion
She will always be hungry for your new big sausage
Best prices for impotence cutlet
[untitled #5]
Bang your way through the party!
Be Apollo in bed
For you and your lady-love
For you and your mistress
Wives like big male organ
Hot wild nights of pleasure await you.
[untitled #6]
Women will fall at your feet once you have this!
Blow them all away with your GIANT cannon.
Change from dagger to BROADSWORD!
Viaaaagrrrraaaa is your magic weapon
[...] The second-line indentations, the misspelled verbs, and the unforgivable capslock sin. Rest assured, that one is committed every time. My skin, how it crawls. My only consolation is that the way this body is arranged, it might be the sender’s misguided attempt at poetry. (Aren’t all attempts at poetry by definition misguided? Ignore previous posts.) [...]