Dear the bearded shirtless man (a.k.a., the patriarchal figure (presumably) of the Next Doors),
By all accounts, it is still October. When I left this morning, barely beating out the sunrise, it was approximately thirty degrees, not even counting windchill. I was wearing multiple layers and a winter coat. You were… not. You were, at seven [...]
Archive for the ‘hey sexy mama- wanna kill all humans?’ Category
Waiting for Godot.
Posted in hey sexy mama- wanna kill all humans?, tagged hey you kids get off my lawn, Rear Window Syndrome, recollections of my childhood on September 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
When I was a youth, my best friend, who also happened to be my neighbor, and I were inseperable. We were practically family, to the point where we could just waltz in and out of each other’s houses. I was an invited guest at family picnics, had been to all of her siblings’ [...]
Moments of Aggravation, Part III.
Posted in hey sexy mama- wanna kill all humans?, tagged Moments of Aggravation, that place where I go and they pay me on September 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
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This is the sound of my coworker checking her email. You see, she has approximately an inch (maybe an inch and a half) high window in which to read her email. And given that most of her emails are from eBay (I know this because I have to help her print them once [...]
Moments of Aggravation, Part II.
Posted in hey sexy mama- wanna kill all humans?, tagged Moments of Aggravation, that place where I go and they pay me on August 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
How does Miss Manners suggest one deals with coworkers that don’t shut up? In my little 9-to-5 world, I do not get paid after 5. So why, at 5:10, am I still standing there? Because for the past ten minutes, one of my coworkers has been regaling me with tales of their [...]
Moments of Aggravation.
Posted in hey sexy mama- wanna kill all humans?, tagged Moments of Aggravation, poetry is for suckers, that place where I go and they pay me on August 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I like to think of myself as relatively easy-going. (Stop laughing.) Still, there’s a part of me, some might say my patience, that comes to a grinding, screeching halt, like a cat getting caught in an engine, when certain scenarios come to light.
For example, the associate who does not know the words ellipsis/ellipses, [...]
Getting one’s freak on.
Posted in hey sexy mama- wanna kill all humans?, tagged letters to my neighbors, things that just ain't right on July 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
In the past week or so, I’ve found at least two used condoms on my street. Literally in the street. It makes me curious as to who might be getting their freak on, and where (their car? someone else’s car? my lawn?), and why they feel compelled to deposit their… deposit [...]
For those about to Fraggle Rock, we salute you.
Posted in hey sexy mama- wanna kill all humans?, tagged hey you kids get off my lawn, it's morphin' time, made in the 80s on June 24, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’ve got a headache. Anyone else? Not a migraine, exactly, but more of a lingering ache. A zit under the surface, threatening to pop but refusing to actually do so, just making you itchy and painful to the touch all day. I’m mixing my metaphors. (And grossing myself out.) But I can’t be expected to [...]
